


Nothing Left For Me Here

by captainamergirl



Category: General Hospital
Genre: F/M, Past Robin and Patrick, Robin returns, Thoughts of Self-harm, angsty Robin, maybe ever so slightly OOC, new man for Robin, new romance - Freeform, robin-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 14:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13437174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl
Summary: An angsty, AU look at Robin's return to Port Charles.





	Nothing Left For Me Here

**Author's Note:**

> A Robin Scorpio-centric piece inspired by an awesome BH 90210 story I read. Robin is actually one of my favorite soap characters and I hate how she’s gotten the short end of the stick, especially these past few years. I hope you enjoy this. Also, I will be giving Robin a new love interest in this … eventually. Stay tuned!

**Part one - Misery**

  
The water had long since run cold but she didn’t feel the temperature change. She didn’t even realize she was shivering. Truth was, she didn’t feel much of anything right now. She just sat there, staring at the razor in her hand. The blade gleamed in the soft lights, taking on an almost hypnotic glow.   
  
No one would find her for hours; not until the next morning anyway, when the maid came by to tidy up and change the sheets… Then her mother would come. Anna would insist on seeing her body. She would be devastated. Emma would be too. Maybe. The little girl wasn’t such a little girl anymore. She was growing up too fast. And she was hesitant to trust that Robin wouldn’t leave her again. Robin didn't blame her.   
  
But hell, wouldn’t Robin be doing just what Emma feared – leaving her behind – if she ended everything right now? Wouldn’t she just reaffirm to Emma that she couldn’t be trusted to be a good mom?   
  
_Emma, Emma, Emma… I love you so much, baby. You kept me alive; the thought of coming home to you, it kept me sane... Maybe you’re scared to trust me and I certainly don’t blame you, but I love you. I really do. I really don’t want to leave you. I never did. You are my miracle._   
  
Her hand grasping the razor shook. Before she could change her mind, she hurled the offensive item across the room. It landed somewhere near the trashcan, out of sight for the moment. She breathed a very small sigh of relief. She had fought too hard to live, to die this way. Just because she was depressed, scared, sad and lonely as hell, it didn’t mean she should slice a vein, did it? It was a selfish act; that’s what she had always thought, but for a moment there, she understood how a person could be so desperate as to be willing to do anything to escape their misery.   
  
_After all, she had stared misery in the face and He had laughed at her._   
  
  
****

**Part two – sex with her ex**

  
“Oh fuck, Robin,  _fuck!”_ Patrick bellowed as he came, collapsing atop of her, lying there for a moment before rolling away and stripping off the condom. He looked at her. She looked away. She hadn’t come here to do this – not at all – but with Patrick; well, it was strange how these things just happened. He had been missing Sam - she had gone back to an amnesiac Jason the second Robin revealed that he was alive - and Robin… She was just missing the closeness of a human body, one she used to love so much. She still loved him actually but it was time to end things. Once and for all.   
  
  


**Part three – Walking away… again**

  
  
The sex had been amazing. All that she had remembered it to be and more. It was the break up that was painful. This time she promised herself that she would stick to this though; that she wouldn’t go back to him, no matter what.   
  
A single tear tracked down her cheek as she put her back to him and quick made steps to her car. He was on the porch, still shirtless, yelling at her about how she always ran away; how she didn’t know how to stay and fight for the things that actually mattered.   
  
She knew it was true; that was why it stung so much. But too much had happened; there was too much water under the bridge. She needed a fresh start. Just her, and her daughter and her mother.   
  
_But where would she find one?_   
  
She climbed into her car, putting the key into the ignition, telling herself that she was closing yet another chapter in her sad life story.   
  


**Part 4 – Making amends**

  
  
Well this was unexpected – Elizabeth asking to speak to Robin after weeks of going out of her way to avoid her.    
  
Robin felt a little anxious as she and Elizabeth took up residence in the hospital stairwell, side by side.    
  
“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth whispered. Robin couldn’t imagine what she was apologizing for but she was willing to listen.   
  
“I’m sorry that I’ve been acting like … like such a bitch,” Elizabeth said. “Giving you the silent treatment and those snotty, sideways looks and –“   
  
Robin rested her hand on Elizabeth’s thin arm. “It’s okay. Really.”   
  
“No, no, it’s not. I was just so angry at you for the longest time. I mean, I had no one else to blame for what I did; for all of the lies that I told; for all the unforgivable things I did, so I blamed you – the easy target. I managed to convince myself that you told Jake –  _Jason, Jason,_ I need to remember that – who he really was, because it suited your own purposes.”   
  
Realization slowly donned on Robin.  _“Patrick._ You thought  _I_ thought that if Sam went back to Jason, that would leave Patrick free and clear for me.”   
  
Liz nodded, looking miserable. “Yeah. I guess that’s why I was in Shadybrook for nearly three months… I’m insane.”   
  
“You are not,” Robin said. “Don’t say that.”   
  
“I feel insane sometimes,” Elizabeth said. “I can’t understand why I did what I did. I guess I was just trying to hold onto the past but I ruined everything. The worst part is that I helped Nikolas keep you away from your family – even unknowingly. I can never forgive myself for that.”   
  
“You didn’t know,” Robin said. “No one did.”   
  
“We were all stupid, Robin; so stupid, to actually believe that you’d abandon Emma, who we all know you love like crazy… We all tried moving on without you. Hell, we squeezed you out of your own life and you didn’t deserve that.”   
  
Robin felt her eyes burn with tears. “Well, that’s over now, Elizabeth. And I’m okay.”   
  
_Lies._ She wasn’t sure that she would ever truly be over what happened, and as for being okay, she definitely wasn’t.   
  
  


**Part 5 – Elaborate plans**

  
  
Robin had come over to see Emma and talk but Emma definitely wasn’t having it. She just sat with her arms folded, staring straight ahead, refusing to look at her mom, refusing to  _see_ her.   
  
No matter how many times Robin apologized for being away so long, it wasn’t enough. Emma didn’t trust her and Robin couldn’t exactly blame her either.   
  
Robin cleared her throat, wanting to try once more to melt the ice between her and her beloved daughter.   
  
“So, Emma, I looked at the calendar today and guess what I realized? Your birthday is right around the corner. I thought - I thought I could throw you a birthday party. You could invite all your friends, really anyone you wanted to, and we’d have a big cake with strawberry frosting – your favorite, if I remember right. There’d be a stack of presents sky high and we’d have pony rides and a bouncy house. What do you say?”   
  
“Bouncy houses are for little kids,” Emma said.   
  
Robin didn’t like the derision in Emma’s voice but she was just glad Emma had said anything at all. “Okay, bouncy houses are out. But anything else you want, it’s yours.”   
  
Emma finally looked at Robin. “I want an American Girl party.”   
  
Robin nodded. “Then an American Girl party you shall have – the best one ever!”   
  
Robin and Emma planned the party together and when Robin finally left, she was worried rather than happy.   
  
Had she just tried to buy her own daughter’s affections?   
  
  


**Part 6 – Over-compensating**

  
  
Later that night at her hotel room, Robin was going over some paperwork and trying not to think about things best forgotten.   
  
Suddenly the phone jangled to life and she was grateful for the distraction … At least until she heard Patrick’s voice, full of ire.   
  
“Emma told me about the elaborate plans you two made for her birthday,” Patrick said by way of greeting. “Are you really planning to buy every kid in attendance an American Girl doll?”   
  
“Well…”   
  
“Robin, those are insanely expensive.”   
  
“Patrick, money isn’t an object here. I just want Emma to have a memorable birthday.”   
  
“No, you’re over-compensating, thinking that if you throw cash at the problem it will go away. I don’t know what’s going on with you but I refuse to turn my daughter into a spoiled, greedy little princess!”   
  
_“Our_ daughter, Patrick,” Robin said. “You keep forgetting that little fact.”   
  
“Well, maybe if you started acting like a real mother-“   
  
Robin hissed. “Wow, Patrick, wow.”   
  
If she expected Patrick to apologize, she was wrong. He went on, “I am throwing Emma a party instead and no, every kid is not getting a $100-plus doll in their goody bag.”   
  
“Patrick, you’re being unreasonable.”   
  
“No, you are, Robin.”   
  
“How am I supposed to tell Emma that she’s not getting her American Girl party after all?”   
  
“Don’t worry, Robin, I’ll discuss it with Emma. I’ll be the heavy as usual.”   
  
“That’s not fair and it’s not true either! You know that.”   
  
“I don’t know what the truth is anymore, Robin.” Patrick sighed loudly and then muttered, “bye”, before hanging up.   
  
Robin sunk back on the sofa cushions. Patrick may be right about her over-compensating – she had considered that fact herself – but he was wrong about having to be the bad guy. No, Robin was the bad guy here. She always would be in people’s


End file.
